This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my full disclosure for information.
10 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Months of Marriage
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9
- The good outweighs the bad. There may be plenty to moan and groan about. But don’t dwell on these things, remember the good things. What happens is we pick out one or two issues and that’s all we see. Change your mindset to see the good.
- Communication is key. In any lasting marriage communication is a must. Maybe there is something you just can’t get over, an argument you feel didn’t get solved. Bring it up to him and talk it through calmly. There’s no need to bring the whole neighbourhood and their dog into your disagreements, it’s between you and your husband. We are supposed to bring 100% to our relationship whether or not our spouse brings anything.
- But, Some things are better overlooked. In my marriage, it looks like this: My husband likes to come home from work and as he walks in the door he will start removing his clothes. There will be a sock on the stairs, another as he walks through the kitchen, his pants will be flung somewhere on the floor, his shirt somewhere else. He likes to leave a laundry trail (but hey, at least it leads me right to him). This is something that used to drive me crazy. I would whine about his clothes being everywhere until finally, I realized it’s just who he is. He is by no means a slob, but this is just something he does, one of his quirks. And I can either let it get to me or learn to laugh about it. I soon realized letting it get to me was doing no good for us or our marriage so now it’s just something to laugh about.
- I didn’t marry my husband to change him. I married my husband for who he is, dirty laundry flung on the floor and all, so I’m going to love him and all the things that would otherwise drive me crazy.
- Admit when you’re wrong. This is HUGE. Don’t be a prideful wife who is Mrs. Right all the time, that’s just not even possible and it is an unattractive trait to have. I was Mrs. Right, then after a few months of marriage I started realizing he liked to be Mr. Right and that was cramping my style. Needless to say, it’s been a learning curve for both of us. Now we’re Mrs. Usually Right & Mr. Sometimes Right. But all jokes aside, know when to admit you’re wrong.
- Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. There’s plenty in marriage to get upset and frustrated about. And in getting married there are going to be a lot of differences between the two of you, now it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to let every little thing get under your skin or if you will learn to laugh it off.
- Compromise is a must. You don’t want to be that person that is dragging their spouse around by a leash, always getting her way, or vice versa. Find the middle ground and meet there. Compromise is a huge part of any marriage.
- We have differences, and it’s okay. No one said you had to be interested in all the same things and nothing else. That could get a little boring, where’s the adventure? In having differences is also where compromise comes into play. My husband is huge into football. He played it all through school, taught it after he graduated and was also in a men’s league. He tries to watch every football game that is playing. Football was never something I was interested in, but being with my husband has introduced me to all kinds of experiences I would never have gotten to experience if it wasn’t for him. Now I love watching him play football, seeing him in his element. That being said, it is also important to find hobbies you can both enjoy doing together.
- Alone time tech-free is of huge importance. A month after getting married we decided to delete our Facebook accounts because we found it was way too easy to sit on the couch together or be laying in bed together and pull out our phones and just scroll through Facebook rather than have a conversation with one another. Deleting our Facebook has been a great thing for our marriage, we are now free to sit face to face and have all kinds of conversations without being distracted.
- NEVER talk badly about your spouse. Ever. Even if you’re just chatting with a best friend or family and you’re tempted to drag on your husband, don’t do it. This is huge. You should never put your husband down in public or even private. How would it feel to have the one who chose to marry you putting you down? Not good at all. This is something that is SO important to be sure you’re not doing. Getting a good friend to be your accountability partner is not a bad idea. It is so important to never undermine your husband. Huge, huge, huge.
Turns out 10 wasn’t enough, this is another one that is a must-do for us…
11. Pray and read the Bible together. This one is a bonus one because it is that important. Prayer and keeping God in the centre of your marriage is so important for us. It’s a time to connect with God which also brings you and your spouse closer together. He is the creator of marriage, wouldn’t you want Him to be a part of it?
Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”
Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”