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Whether you’re a young wife or have been married for many years, I believe that we can all benefit from these tips.
If you’re young and married (or going to be getting married), these are good principles to have and ground your marriage on. If you’ve been married for years this list can be a great reminder for even you, because our lives have a tendency to get very busy, and it’s just all too easy to put our marriage on the back burner while we tend to other aspects of our lives.
My husband and I got married at the ages of 19 and 20. It hasn’t always been a walk in the park, but it has been incredible and so worth it, and I am so excited for the lifetime ahead of us that we get to face together.
Young marriage. The fact of it is, many people are going to judge you and won’t even try to hold back their thoughts about your decision.
You might start to feel alone every once in awhile because not very many of your friends will be in the same place as you. Young marriage, like all marriages, is hard work. There’s no way around it.
Marriage, regardless of your age, will always be hard work. And you will never get to the end of learning things about marriage. There will always be more to learn, because we aren’t perfect people and we do screw up often.
But, don’t let this scare you away from getting married if you have found the one that you are willing to spend your whole life fighting for and putting above yourself.
Related: To the One Yearning to be Married
Marriage is the most wonderful thing, and when you do marriage God’s way, it is such a blessing.
So, hard times can’t be avoided, but, here are a few things that we wives can do to put our husbands above ourselves every single day of our lives, and to be more in love than ever before.
20 Things Every Young Wife Should Know
1) Hold hands whenever you can.
You might be in the new stage of your marriage, or even before marriage when you’re thinking you will always hold your husband’s hand. You love to do it, and you’ve heard other people say that you won’t always be so eager to hold his hand, but you just know that your relationship is different. You will never not want to hold your hubby’s hand. Okay, that was me. We always held hands, and we loved it! And I was so sure that these other wives that said that one day holding hands wouldn’t be as exciting just weren’t as in love as my husband and I were. The truth is, a while down the road you aren’t going to be as eager to hold hands as you are right now. You can deny it all you want, but when the excitement does start to fade, you’ll realize that it’s true. One day you will get used to being together all the time and eventually stop finding yourselves holding hands as much.
BUT, don’t worry! That just means that you have to put work into it. And everything is so much more rewarding when you actually put effort into it. Just because you’re not holding hands as much, doesn’t mean you should stop holding hands. Now you just have to intentionally hold hands. Don’t quit holding hands just because the newness of the relationship has worn off. In fact, I believe that we should be holding hands even more now than we did earlier on. We never thought anything of it when we were first dating, we always held hands. And now, after intentionally doing it for months, again, we don’t think twice about it, it’s just natural. Whether we’re driving, walking, sitting or standing beside one another. A physical touch, even as innocent as holding hands, is a great connection for husband and wife.
Be intentional about it. Hold your husband’s hand every chance you get.
2) Kiss. A lot.
Just like what we talked about with holding hands, make a decision to kiss your husband, even when you don’t necessarily feel like you want to.
3) Pack his lunch.
I personally think it is so important for us as wives to pack our husband’s lunches. It shows them our gratitude for providing for us, and shows them respect.
4) Never talk badly about him. Ever.
Even if you’re just chatting with your best girlfriend, never talk badly about your husband. Show love, honor, and respect to him by lifting him up, even when he’s not around.
5) Pray for him.
Everyday. And don’t stop there, pray for your marriage and that God would constantly be working His power in you to change you into the wife that God created you to be. Never let a day pass you by without stopping to pray for your husband. (Click here for GREAT prayer resources that I use and would highly recommend to anybody)
Related: The Power of a Praying Wife
6) Always have his back.
You two are a team, make sure you act like it.
7) Nurture your friendship.
Your spouse should be your best friend. The one person that you turn to in all seasons of life. The first one that you want to tell exciting news to. Work on growing your friendship every day.
8) Always confess your sins to your husband.
Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness. Don’t let stuff get bottled up inside you only to one day explode. Be continually confessing your shortfalls to your husband, ask for forgiveness, and pray together.
9) Speak kindly to him.
Arguments happen in every marriage, but how we deal with the arguments is what sets our marriages apart from the rest. Don’t let an argument escalate into a full-blown fight. Try to keep your voice from raising and keep your tone kind when speaking to him, no matter how frustrated you may get.
10) Make him your top priority.
The two of you are now joined in marriage and are one. He is now your top priority. Don’t let friends, family, coworkers, jobs, etc. be more of a priority to you than he is.
11) Always look for the good.
It’s really easy to get caught up in everything that is wrong with our marriages. Especially with the help of social media nowadays, it can seem like there is so much negativity in our lives, and we can easily translate that to our marriages. No, not everything is going to be peachy every second of your marriage, but don’t dwell on the bad.
12) Even the smallest of gestures can express your love.
Look for ways that you can extend love and respect to your husband every day. It doesn’t always have to be a large, extravagant gesture. Find small ways that are meaningful to your husband.
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13) Don’t let the little things get to you.
Everybody has quirks. Do you remember those quirks that your husband had when you two were just dating and you thought were so cute? Chances are, you might not find them as cute anymore. Don’t let the quirks turn into an argument, let them go.
14) Don’t feel bad if you have to cut some friendships out of your life.
Likely, when you get married young, a lot of your friends won’t be married yet or even thinking of marriage anytime soon. That doesn’t mean that you can’t still be friends with them. But if some of your “friends” are discouraging towards your marriage in any way, don’t feel bad for cutting them out of your life. Surround yourself with people and real friends who will lift you and your marriage up, not drag it down. Never feel bad for putting your marriage first.
15) Forgive and forget.
When your husband confesses his shortfalls to you, forgive him as you want him to forgive you, freely. Don’t hold back forgiveness, that will only cause harm to your marriage, and don’t store his shortfalling for ammo in future arguments. Forgive and forget.
16) Respect him.
Our husbands need our respect. Like us wives need love, they need respect. I recommend this book, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, to any couple out there.
17) Have patience.
Nobody is perfect, we will all screw up from time to time. Have patience with your husband. Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry – James 1:19
18) Throw off nagging and complaining.
Just get rid of them. They do no good and only drag you both down.
19) Greet him with kindness.
When he walks through that door greet him with respect, kindness, happiness, and warmness.
20) Don’t forget romance.
Just because you’re married, and maybe have been for a while, doesn’t mean that you should forget about romance in your marriage. Work on making romance stronger than ever before and be growing more passionate for each other every single day. Do a romantic gesture, as simple as turning the lights down and eating his favourite meal by candlelight, often.
Marriage isn’t easy, but it is the most wonderful journey. Make it your priority to intentionally love your husband, even on the days that you just don’t feel like it.
Tips From 1 Year of Marriage That I Want to Share With You
26 Unique Ways to Respect Your Husband
Rejoice in the Husband of Your Youth
11 Unique Benefits of Getting Married Young
The Power of a Praying Wife