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Valentine’s Day. A day of couples, roses, love, romance, men getting in trouble when they forget to buy a gift (or forget the day altogether), and dreaming of happily-ever-after. Ah, it sounds like bliss, doesn’t it?
Wouldn’t it be a dream if every day of our marriage could be Valentine’s day?
Some people really don’t like the day, and some people love it. And then there are the people like me who just don’t really have an opinion.
I don’t dislike it and I also don’t absolutely love it, I’m pretty neutral when it comes to Valentine’s day. I don’t have anything against it, but I don’t get all giddy when I think about it, either.
I think the day is great and all, but, what I don’t like about it is that it’s a day when couples go out of their way to show their love and appreciation to their spouses. No, I’m not against that. I think expressing our love above and beyond what we usually do is great! But I don’t like that we feel like it has to be limited to once a year. Why is it just an annual thing?
I think we should be expressing our love, above and beyond what we are doing on a regular day, more than just once a year. It should be a daily thing. I get that buying gifts and cards every day would get way too expensive, but we can show our appreciation for our spouses without buying them gifts.
We should make it our goal to go out of our way to express our love and gratitude to our spouses on a daily basis.
If you want to express your love with small gifts regularly, maybe make it a bi-weekly or monthly thing, depending on how often you want to spend money on that.
Let’s make it our goal to spoil our spouses every single day, not just on February 14th.
Let’s be extra grateful for their hard work, notice and compliment something that usually goes unnoticed about our spouse, give them an extra hug and kiss, put our phones down (or put it away in a different room if you want to be sure you don’t go on it out of habit) and look into our spouse’s eyes, have a conversation and really be present in it, go out of our way to show them respect and love, be extra sweet even when they do something that makes us want to get angry.
Let’s start a trend to make every day Valentine’s day in our marriages. I want to get rid of the idea that there’s only one day a year that we should be treating our spouses like this.
Let’s work on making every day of the year extra sweet, not because our spouse never screws up, but because regardless of their flaws, we accept them and love them.
Extend love and kindness to your spouse even when you don’t feel like it. Even when they did something that made you extremely upset.
Don’t let the actions of others impact your attitude.
Can you imagine the change in our marriages if regardless of our mood and regardless of our spouse’s actions, we extended the same love and kindness that we extend when we are feeling affectionate and are in a good mood, or when our spouse does something especially nice for us?
I’m willing to bet the change would be marriage-shaking (in every good way possible).
Can we do it? We aren’t perfect, after all. But I do believe we can do it. Will we be able to do it, without flaw, 24/7? Probably not.
But just because we’re still going to get angry, that doesn’t mean that we can’t still, even in the anger, be kind and loving.
You can do it if you really try. When you first start, it will be hard. It will be really hard to extend love and kindness when all you want to do is focus on how your husband is wrong and you need to make sure he knows it.
It will be hard, but if you stick to it you will find it becoming easier and easier, the longer you stick with it.
And before you know it, every day in your marriage will be a little bit more like Valentine’s day.
Keep making a point of going out of your way to extend kindness to your spouse, even when they don’t deserve it.
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Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12