Marriage is giving one hundred percent of yourself, one hundred percent of the time.
Do you remember your wedding day? Think back to that precious day, it may be 2 months back or it may be 50+ years back. Remember how in love you two were? Remember the promises you made to one another? Your vows were probably something along the lines of:
To have and to hold
From this day forward
For better and for worse
For richer, for poorer
In sickness and in health
Until death do us part
Maybe this feels like it was a lifetime ago, maybe you can barely remember the way you two felt on that day and the ones that followed. Or maybe you’re years down the road and even more in love than you were on your wedding day. If that’s you, this comes as a good reminder to keep in the back of your head, but if you are the one that can’t remember the love you two once shared I encourage you to read on.
I’m sure you’ve heard the age-old saying, “Marriage isn’t 50-50. Divorce is 50-50.” It is completely true. But there will be days that you just can’t get yourself to give 100 percent, which is when your spouse must step up to the plate and make up for it. Then there will be days that are the opposite where you have to step up and bring your all.
Some people like to put it in a 20-80 ratio, or 40-60, or so on and so forth. They’ll tell you that on days that your spouse can only give 20% you have to make up for it and give 80%.
While they have good intentions behind what they are saying, I disagree.
I believe that on days that your spouse can only give 20%, you have to give 100%. On days that your spouse can give 100%, you also give 100%.
You wouldn’t only invest 80% of yourself into your marriage, would you?
You give 100 percent of yourself, 100 percent of the time, regardless of what your spouse is giving.
Marriage is about picking each other up, helping each other out, and depending on one another. Your spouse needs to be able to depend on you to bring 100 percent of yourself to your marriage just as you need to be able to depend on your spouse to do the same.
Maybe it’s been several months and your spouse still hasn’t been giving 100%. Understand where they are and know that difficult seasons come and go in every marriage. Love on them and remember that marriage is worth it.
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:9
Feed off one another – let your spouse’s energy and drive lift you up on those days where you just can’t get out of bed. Live up to your vows and love one another in sickness and in health, good times and bad, because marriage is not a commitment that runs out when you run into conflict or your spouse is no longer giving 100 percent of themselves; marriage is until the day you lay the other in the dirt or the Lord returns.
Marriage is hard work, but it is worth it. So don’t give up hope! There will be tough days, months, or even years. But if you keep the Lord at the centre and keep persevering through the hard times you will be blessed.
To be able to live up to your vows 50 years down the road is something to be cherished.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12