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Wives, When Did We Start Taking Our Husbands For Granted?
As a wife, I have learned how easy it is to fall into a daily routine, and get stuck there.
I wake up bright (dark, now that winter is coming fast) and early with my husband, make breakfast, visit for a little bit until he has to leave for work then I set out and start whatever I have planned for that day. Then before I know it it’s time to start on supper.
I love my life and the things I get to fill my days with. But I’ve gotten so stuck in a routine that I have a hard time getting out of it even when my husband spends a day at home. If my husband has a day off and we are just going to spend a day lounging around home I tend to still get busy cleaning, crocheting, blogging, doing laundry, working around the house, baking, shopping, or whatever it may be.
It hit me in the face when I realized that this was one of my husbands days off and he really doesn’t want to spend it with me cleaning, crocheting, shopping, etc.
He wants to spend it with me.
I never gave that much thought, he would tell me or drop hints that he wants us to just spend the day together but I would think, ‘we are spending it together even if I am cleaning,’ or whatever I am doing, we’re both at home aren’t we? But that’s not what he means when he tells me he wants to spend his day with me. What he means is that it is perfectly OK to let the laundry build up a day longer, or the floors get a little dirtier because he wants to spend his day off with me.
I am a very blessed wife, it just took me some time to realize that.
Not every husband wants to spend their days off just hanging out with their wives, not all husbands even like their wives as sad as that is to say. I am incredibly blessed and I had been taking it for granted for months until I started actually hearing it in my heart. I heard of men we knew who talked badly towards their wives, men that wanted to work every day, long hours just for an excuse to be out of the house. Men that didn’t want days off because that meant that they either had to make an excuse up to leave their house or be miserable there all day. It breaks my heart hearing that. Some people may read this and think something along the lines of, “those men are being terrible to their wives,” while yes, it is not right, but can we blame it all on the men?
When did it start? They were newlyweds at some point, they were so in love and crazy about each other I bet they never saw the day coming when they would be working more hours just to be away from their house.
Wives have the power to drive their husbands away. Wives may stop going the extra mile and start just merely tolerating their husbands. Maybe they no longer make their dinner, or they no longer make dinner that their husband particularly likes. Maybe they quit putting little love notes in their husband’s lunch. Maybe they stopped sending flirty texts to their husband throughout the day. Maybe the stopped greeting their husband with a kiss at the door. Maybe they stopped consulting their husband when making decisions.
I’m sure they never even realized that they stopped doing these little things.
I realize that some wives may be going that extra mile still and they find their husband is avoiding them despite it, don’t give up and don’t lose hope.
Us wives need to drop what the world is telling us. The world is trying to tell us that we need to be independent, that it is bad to depend on anyone. This is untrue, how are you going to thrive in a marriage where you and your husband are both trying to be independent? It doesn’t work. Dependency is not a bad thing, and it goes hand in hand with marriage.
So let’s get back to the basics. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with your husband all over again.
Pursue your husband with everything you’ve got. Pray for him continually. Make your home a place he longs to come home to. Make yourself a person he yearns to be with every day. Flirt with him. Pleasure him. Have fun with your marriage, don’t forget that sometimes you just have to laugh it off. And most of all, respect him.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12